These Are a Few (Of My Favorite Things)
by KitKatt0430
Summary: They've finally tracked down FIRESTORM. Now all they've got to do is split Ronnie and Stein back into two people and Hartley will be able to go back to his revenge on Wells with a clearer conscience... right? But the truth is, its never going to be that simple. Hartmon Fest 2019: - Favorites - Hartley Character Fic


Summary: They've finally done it. They've tracked down FIRESTORM. Now all they've got to do is split Ronnie and Stein back into two people and Hartley will be able to go back to his revenge on Wells with a clearer conscience... right? But with the Reverse Flash trying to draw attention back to himself and General Eiling trying to stir up trouble over FIRESTORM, its never going to be that simple.

Hartmon Fest 2019:  
– Mar 4th - favorites  
– Feb 26th - Hartley character fic

Notes: So I could not figure out what to do with 'favorites' as a prompt because it felt sort of vague in a way the other prompts didn't. So I decided to mash it up with one of my favorite prompts so far (Hartley Character Fic), add in two of my favorite overlooked characters in season one (Clarissa Stein and Tina McGee), and also give Hartley some more plushy rats to cuddle because who doesn't love Hartley/plushy rats. There's also something else that'll show up towards the end with the plushy rats, but... I'll wait until I get there.

I didn't want to, but I've decided to split this one up into pieces. Probably two chapters, but it might turn out to be three. The story will likely be completed over on Ao3 before I post up the subsequent chapters here.

This is Part Three of The Pied Piper's Army of Rats, following after Predestination (Paradox) and Changing Priorities.

Some of the dialogue in here comes from episode 1x13: The Nuclear Man

Verse Notes:

* Hartley is staying in the locker room, not the pipeline, because he's claustrophobic and spent his one night in the cell freaking out. Cisco was not pleased with Wells over this and secured a better location for Hartley to stay in.

* Hartley negotiated his info on Ronnie for a locked down tablet ostensibly for communicating with his sister, but really for hacking STAR Labs.

* All the metas they catch get sent to Iron Heights because ethics, that's why. Hartley's the exception because they need him for dealing with the Time Wraith in the future and also because he doesn't want an official arrest record.

* Hartley is slowly building an army of plushy rats because they're adorable. He's only got one so far; its name is General and its a rattata pokemon plushy.

_**These Are a Few (Of My Favorite Things)**_

_**Chapter 1**_

Hartley stared at the tablet for a few moments, not quite comprehending that he'd actually done it. He'd been absolutely certain when it stuck on the loading screen for longer than normal that he'd bricked the damn thing.

But, no, he'd unlocked the tablet's OS completely. It was his to do whatever the hell he wanted to with it. Download the Doctor Who gem matching game. Download the kindle app and access his ebook collection. Or, more likely, hack STAR Labs from inside their own intranet and upload the virus that would restore his old access ID and password, giving him free reign of the system.

There was the sound of footsteps in the hall outside, though, signaling that Cisco was on his way early today. So Hartley hastily pulled up the browser and navigated to a bookmarked fanfic, a post-canon non-epilogue compliant Harry/Draco fanfiction. He pretended to be enthralled with it - he actually was, usually, but he'd read this chapter already and just needed to sell the idea that was all he'd been doing with the tablet this morning.

The lock clicked open and there was a knock at the door, confirming it was indeed Cisco. He always remembered to knock. Caitlin usually didn't. Neither Harrison nor the Flash ever checked on him. Of course, considering that Hartley wasn't supposed to know Barry's real identity - at least as far as Harrison was concerned - it wasn't surprising that Allen never came by the locker room turned makeshift prison.

The door popped open some. "Hey, you decent in there?"

"Come in, Cisco," Hartley responded, rolling his eyes and setting the tablet down.

"Ready for another day? We're making pretty good progress," Cisco said, all cheerfulness as he swung the door open all the way.

"Yeah, sure." They'd finished repairing Hartley's piper gloves the day before. Today they were going to plug them in to a computer and have Hartley run tests of the actual emitted frequencies compared to the data they'd pulled off the gloves regarding its settings it had when Hartley used them to make the dementor fuck off back to whence it came. These tests would then form the basis of the anti-Time Wraith tech that Cisco was stubbornly referring to as the Patro-no.

If Hartley had to admit it - which he didn't - the name actually wasn't that bad. Nerdy, yes, but... well, Hartley was a nerd too.

"Oh, reading anything interesting?" Cisco asked, catching sight of the tablet screen.

"Catching up on a Harry Potter fanfic," Hartley responded. "It's a Harry/Draco, so I don't know if you'd be interested..."

"If Malfoy's written as way less of a prejudiced dick than he is in canon, sure. I ship Harry with pretty much everyone except Luna Lovegood, really."

"Why not Luna?" Hartley asked as he got up to follow Cisco to their shared workspace.

"Huh... why don't I ship her with Harry?" Cisco paused a moment, then said, "I guess... there was this really good one shot fanfic I read once where she's aromantic and the headcanon just stuck with me." Cisco shrugged and Hartley nodded in understanding. Some of the best fanfictions were the ones where even if you didn't share that headcanon to start with, you couldn't imagine it any other way afterwards. "Though sometimes I'll read stories where she's shipped with Ginny. One of my favorite Doctor Who fanfic writers will write that pairing when they venture to the HP fandom."

"How'd Barry's date go last night?"

"Dude, how would I know, I... okay, yes, I totally barged in to his date with calls about stuff for him to do as the Flash. Stop judging me," Cisco grumbled, flushing in embarrassment.

"No, its funny," Hartley snickered. "Besides, he probably shouldn't get too... uh... friendly with her too fast. I mean, how exactly do you think he's going to explain to her that he comes with a built in vibrate feature?"

"Ooooh... oh shit," Cisco's eyes widened. "I don't think that's occurred to him yet. He's going to have to think of a lot of dead puppies."

"That'll be a fun conversation to have with him," Hartley snickered. "Glad I'm not the one who has to break that news. Admittedly, they've only had one date and I'm assuming it went well?"

"Did seem that way. I guess we'll know for sure once he comes floating in on cloud nine later today."

"Might not be a problem yet, then. Depends on how fast she wants to go, anyway." Hartley gestured to where he knew Cisco kept his phone. "Search Ao3 for Lomonaaeren," he then spelled it out because the vowels were just odd. "They mostly write drarry fanfics but there's some other pairings sprinkled in there too. Including some Ginny/Luna, I think. So should be at least a few you enjoy. There are a few in there that veer pretty hard towards horror, though."

Cisco grinned, bookmarking the page to come back to later in his phone. "Awesome."

Hartley smiled and, for a few moments, anyway, he could almost pretend that they were actual coworkers again. But then he felt the metal cuffs - magnetic handcuffs with a built in GPS device - shift against his wrists.

Frowning and looking away, Hartley reminded himself he was here for one reason only. Getting vengeance on Harrison. He needed to stop empathizing with his captors so much and focus.

"So, ready to test out your gloves?" Cisco asked. "Barry should be here soon."

"Does Harrison know I know the Flash's real identity yet?" Hartley had thought Caitlin would tattle on him after he'd pointed out her belief that Harrison's paralysis was his punishment for screwing up the accelerator was ableist. But, as far as he knew, she'd stayed quiet about it. Barry hadn't said anything either, though he had plenty of opportunity while dealing with the most recent meta Team Flash fought, a woman named Shawna Baez who would soon be serving trial for breaking her boyfriend out of jail.

"I really don't know," Cisco admitted. "I think Barry's finding it tedious, though."

"I'm surprised any of you are keeping that from him, to be honest."

"Well, I'm pissed off at Doctor Wells, so there's that. I think Caitlin and Barry are keeping quiet for me, though."

"Whatever the reason, I'll take it."

* * *

Harrison was waiting in the garage for them when Hartley and Cisco arrived. Then Barry showed up, clad in his Flash suit and, as Cisco had put it jokingly earlier, floating on cloud nine.

Under such close supervision, Hartley couldn't snatch up his gloves and point them at Harrison, much as the simmering anger in his chest made him want to. Instead he had to sit there and instruct Cisco on how to use them, triggering commands remotely via computer instead of by gesture.

At least Hartley knew they worked again. Once he was ready to get the hell out of dodge, he'd be able to go round two with the Flash if he had to.

While they were wrapping things up, Cisco got a call from what sounded like Joe West while Harrison got a call from Caitlin. Hartley ended up sent back to the locker room while Barry went to check out a possible sighting of Ronnie and Cisco went to see what Detective West wanted.

This suited Hartley just fine, though. He could make some progress hacking into STAR Labs intranet and make sure he could actually access the USB with the virus on it with the tablet.

* * *

Hartley's lunch for the day was delivered by a very distracted Caitlin. She wouldn't tell Hartley what was going on, though, and it wasn't until five-forty-ish that Cisco showed up again, not with early dinner but to bring Hartley back out for a planning session on how to help split Ronnie and Stein back into two people again.

"Well," Harrison was saying as they walked into the cortex, "Stein clearly thinks he can separate himself from Ronnie's body using nuclear fission."

"It should work, in theory," Hartley spoke up, walking over to Harrison and Caitlin, but glancing around to see where Ronnie-Stein had wandered off to.

"Splitting an atom and splitting a man are two very different things," Harrison pointed out, rather unnecessarily in Hartley opinion.

"Less splitting, more reordering," Hartley muttered, getting a raised eyebrow in response.

Ronnie-Stein walked out of the infirmary to stares all around. Which he - they? - immediately called them all on.

"Our apologies," Harrison offered.

"It is remarkable," Stein, most likely, allowed. "I feel much clearer than I have since the accident. What did you give me?"

"A cocktail of anti-psychotics, depressants, and mood stabilizers," Caitlin responded quietly. "The same formula is used to treat dissociative identity disorders."

Ronnie-Stein was nodded in understanding. "I assume this was your idea?" When Caitlin indicated that it was, he continued with, "very clever, Cait."

"Don't call me that," Caitlin said, more forcefully than she must've intended, because she followed it up with a gentler "please."

Hartley wandered over to grab the nearest marker board - one of those annoying clear ones that couldn't be used double sided. Hartley hated those because he couldn't just flip them over and keep going. But they were the only kind in the room and he'd make due.

He started writing on the board, FIRESTORM equations and potential methods of separation. He heard Ronnie-Stein walk over to join him, watching over Hartley's shoulder for a few moments before offering a correction. Hartley nodded and re-wrote that section, pausing a moment after erasing what he'd originally written as the altered equation worked itself out in his head. Much better indeed.

"You have an impressive understanding of my research," Dr. Stein complimented Hartley.

He nearly flinched. And then he mentally cursed Dr. Wells for that reaction. Just because one brilliant scientist whom Hartley looked up to turned out to be an asshole who'd fucked over his life didn't mean the next one would do the same. But... that was almost word for word the first thing Harrison had said to Hartley, back when he'd just been an intern.

"It's brilliant work. I was absolutely fascinated by your theories on transmutation," Hartley offered. "If the matrix weren't so unstable, it'd be fascinating to see if you and Ronnie were capable of pulling it off after all."

"That would certainly be interesting, but I think I'll settle for now in transmuting the two of us back into, well, the two of us." He frowned over one section of the equations. "The initial energy ratio is higher than I would have expected. Why's that?"

"Ronnie was inside the pipeline when it exploded. My theory is that the dark energy released bound him to that first before he was drawn as pure energy to the FIRESTORM matrix you brought with you and then fused with you because you were the closest. The energy ratio is higher based on the readings recorded by the pipeline sensors when Ronnie would have... been caught in the blast." Hartley paused a beat and then added, "it explains why you're in control instead of him, too."

"The answer for that is simple Darwinism, really," Harrison insisted as he rolled over to interject himself into the conversation. "The matrix would've selected Ronnie's superior body and Professor Stein's superior intellect."

"If Ronnie didn't have a really damn high IQ, I might agree with that. But, as I'm sure you've noticed... Professor or Doctor?" Hartley asked, interrupting himself for a moment. People were picky about their titles sometimes. Hartley himself preferred Doctor to Mister.

"Professor," Stein replied with a half smile.

"Professor," Hartley repeated. "I'm sure you've noticed that Ronnie's quite intelligent himself." Stein reluctantly nodded and Hartley continued on. "According to your research, since you're both running around in Ronnie's body, Ronnie's mind should also be in charge with you running co-pilot... or maybe backseat driving would be a better analogy." Hartley smiled faintly when Stein actually snorted with amusement. "But when the two of you fused, neither of you consented to it and it became a pretty traumatic experience for you both. But it was the only traumatic experience you had of the night - and you also had a basic understanding of what was going on. Whereas Ronnie had never heard of FIRESTORM before and had already just lived through the likely painful experience of being turned into pure energy while at the heart of a dark energy fueled explosion. He probably wasn't even conscious at the time of the merge, which is why you got to be the dominant voice in the merge. But because FIRESTORM isn't meant to work like that, Ronnie keeps surfacing to take back control, doesn't he?"

Stein nodded. "Having the wrong mind in charge, starting off with a far too high energy ratio... its a wonder we haven't completely destabilized already."

From there they started theorizing on the right approach to splitting Ronnie-Stein back in two and, after about an hour, Hartley needed a break because he was so close to wanting to stab Harrison with the nearest sharp implement. Harrison was playing dumb. Cisco and Caitlin didn't seem to realize it and Stein didn't know Harrison well enough to catch it, but Harrison was playing knowledgeable one moment and ignorant the next. He'd contradicted himself on his breadth of knowledge a good three times already.

What the hell was his game?

Whatever Harrison thought he was doing, he was wasting precious time and Hartley was tired of having to course correct the conversation every time Harrison derailed it down what he damn well should have known was a rabbit hole. Making an excuse of needing a coffee break, Hartley slipped out of the room and headed down to the break room. Only, it seemed, there was already someone in there.

Hartley slid into the room and paused a moment, observing the woman sitting on the break room couch. She looked like she'd been crying and Hartley considered, for a moment, leaving and trying his luck with the next closest break room. But, as far as Hartley knew, this was the only break room that was still actually being kept stocked.

So he headed over to the counter and checked the coffee machine. What was left in the carafe was best described as sludge, so he rinsed it out and set the machine to brew a fresh pot.

"Can I interest you in a cup of coffee?" Hartley asked, as the brewing noises started up.

"No, thank you," she replied quietly. This had to be Clarissa Stein, Professor Martin Stein's wife.

"I'm Doctor Hartley Rathaway," he introduced himself, offering her a handshake. He was a little startled by how easily he tacked his title on there when he hadn't... he hadn't felt like he'd deserved it after having his reputation tarnished by Harrison.

"Clarissa Stein," she replied, offering a wan smile and clasping his hand in a firm greeting.

"How are you doing?" he asked, offering himself as a sounding board if Clarissa wanted it.

"I came in here to call Lily, but she's in class right now. I can't quite seem to... to bring myself to leave this room, though."

"Because you don't want him to see you crying?"

Clarissa nodded, her expression turning wry. "If he sees I'm upset, then I'll just be a distraction for him."

"His grasp of time isn't the greatest right now," Hartley told her, "and considering he's a research scientist and our grasp of time's passage isn't great to begin with..." he smile when she gave a little laugh. "He's going to notice you're taking too long eventually and be distracted anyway. Is there... is there anything I can do to help you?"

"I suppose I could use a cup of coffee after all."

Hartley nodded and wandered over to set a second cup out next to the one he'd be using. "Cream or sugar?"

"Anything flavored?"

"Hazelnut and vanilla."

"Hazelnut, please. One cream, two sugars." Hartley set it all out by the cup and checked the coffee's progress. Only about a third of the way done. He watched quietly as Clarissa got up from the couch and walked to the sink, splashing a little water on her face and then checking her makeup in a small mirror she must've been keeping in her purse. "I still look like I've been crying, don't I?"

"You look lovely, Mrs. Stein."

"Please, call me Clarissa, Dr. Rathaway. And you flatter me far too much."

"Hartley, then," he offered gently. "I stand by what I said."

They waited together in amiable silence until the coffee was ready. Then, once their respective cups were how they each liked it best, they headed back to the cortex together.

"Clarissa?" Ronnie-Stein said, immediately looking up as Professor Stein's wife walked into the room. He smiled warmly. "Were you able to reach Lily?"

"No. Her... her phone's likely on silent. She has a class right now."

Disappointment flickered across his face, but he hurried over to take Clarissa's hand and reassure her they were making good progress.

Hartley, however, did his best to refrain from scowling at Harrison. They'd be making better progress if he would stop holding back.

* * *

"It seems Ronnie's fight with the Flash exacerbated the instability of the Firestorm Matrix," Harrison observed quietly while Stein and Clarissa were off to the side taking a break.

Clarissa had finally gotten through to Lily earlier and was now arranging for her to come back from college for the weekend. Of course, there was the question of whether she was coming back for a reunion or a funeral. The answer still wasn't looking good.

"I doubt him dropping in to help fight the Reverse Flash a few weeks back helped much either," Cisco muttered.

"The Reverse Flash?" Hartley repeated blankly. "Who the fuck is the Reverse Flash?"

Cisco opened his mouth to answer, only to be cut off by Harrison. "We can explain who that is later, when time isn't of the essence."

"How long does he have?" Caitlin asked.

"If his temperature keeps rising at the current pace, midnight maybe?" Hartley frowned, then corrected, "no... more like 1 or 2 AM. So we're on a time crunch."

Caitlin's hands clenched and she stared steadily at Dr. Wells. "But you can fix it, right? I mean... you can separate them before it's too late."

"Any attempt we make to separate the two of them could be catastrophic... a nuclear explosion. And a nuclear explosion of this magnitude would level this entire city."

"It'll only be a nuclear explosion if we separate them incorrectly," Hartley corrected. "But even if we do this right, there'll be an explosion and it'd be pretty massive. One way or the other, when we're ready to attempt separation, we'll need the Flash to run them out to the minimum safe distance first."

"If they're going to explode either way..." Caitlin started to object, but Cisco put a hand on her arm.

"Cait, if there's nuclear fallout, then yes... they'll be dead. But no radiation will mean that they're fine, even though they'll have... well, technically they won't be exploding. But all that energy cycling up inside them will be released explosively in all directions away from them. So... boom. But... they'd be safe at the center of it. In fact, Ronnie'll probably be able to handle higher temperatures when its all said and done. No more worrying about him burning himself on the stove when he cooks." Cisco paused and then grimaced. "The problem is, we need to make a... quantum splicer."

"You just made that term up," Hartley grumbled.

"It fits what we need the device to do." Cisco crossed his arms and scowled at Hartley, who shrugged and reluctantly conceded the point. "Anyway. Quantum splicer. But we're stumped on what we can use for it that can handle the energy output from the unstable FIRESTORM matrix long enough for the two of them to split."

"I can't lose Ronnie again." Caitlin's voice grew steely and she gave Dr. Wells a look that would've had Hartley hiding and praying for his life if it were directed at him. "You need to fix this." And then she turned and walked off to join Ronnie-Stein and Clarissa.

"I... may have something that would work for the quantum splicer," Harrison offered after a long moment of silence. "I'll be right back."

"I can help," Cisco started to offer, but stopped when Harrison shook his head sharply.

"You stay here and keep working those equations with Hartley. I'll only be a few minutes."

"If he shows up with a Hail Mary, after he's been fucking stalling us," Hartley closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. In, out, don't pitch a fit.

"So you noticed that too, huh?" Cisco muttered.

Hartley looked at Cisco sharply. "I... didn't think you had."

"He thinks he already has the answer." Cisco shrugged, then added, "he probably does. And it's likely cynical of me to think he's trying to look like an eleventh hour hero to win back Caitlin and my approval and probably Ronnie's too, once we catch him up on what's been happening. But that's what it looks like."

"That is what it looks like," Hartley agreed.

"So, there's something... there's something I want you to come along with me on tomorrow. If that's okay. I don't really want to talk about it here, though." Cisco paused and then added, "whatever happens today, no one's really going to want to be here tomorrow, so... if you don't come with me, we'll have to figure out somewhere else for you to stay for the day or at least... I dunno, move a mini-fridge and a microwave from one of the break rooms into the locker room so you've got lunch storage. Because I may not make it back in time to bring you lunch."

"I would be ecstatic to get the hell out of here for a few hours tomorrow," Hartley assured Cisco. "So whatever it is you want me along for, I'm game."

"Thanks."

Cisco looked over at Ronnie-Stein. "Do you think he... do you think he blames me?"

"No. But don't take my word for it, Cisco. When Ronnie is separated out from Stein, ask him. You can hear it from him for yourself. You did the right thing that night." Hartley sighed and dropped into the nearest chair, stretching his arms and then rolling his shoulders. He needed another coffee break. "I'm just sorry you were in that position at all."

* * *

When Harrison rolled back in, he did indeed have something of a Hail Mary for them to try.

"Is this... from a tachyon prototype?" Cisco looked very confused as he glanced between the parts on the work table and Harrison.

"I've been trying to build a new one. I thought that since we failed to protect Mercury Lab's prototype, I... owed it to Dr. McGee to make her a replacement. Besides, it's a quite fascinating device; half the fun was the challenge of making one myself. Though, as you can see, I didn't get very far." Harrison gestured to the parts on the table and sighed, as though he'd been defeated. The noise he made when he was about to get out of check in a chess game. "But it seems that Ronnie and Professor Stein have a much more pressing need for this device than Tina does."

Cisco seemed satisfied with the answer, but Hartley wondered why it was a problem in the first place. More questions to ask when he brought up the question of the Reverse Flash again, it seemed.

Maybe for tomorrow, when they were on Cisco's mysterious errand.

The quantum splicer was completed with barely four hours to spare. Not that they'd have time to try again if this went wrong.

Barry grabbed the splicer and Ronnie-Stein and dashed out to a safe distance from the city before dashing to safety himself. Caitlin stood with Clarissa, the two of them holding hands now, as they waited for the answer.

There was an explosion. Hartley could hear it over Barry's comms, but the radiation sensor attached to Barry's suit wasn't registering anything over normal levels. "It looks safe," Cisco told the speedster. "Go take a look."

"They're both here," Barry confirmed. "Are you two alright?"

Hartley grinned widely at Cisco as they heard Ronnie's voice reply first and then Professor Stein's.

Minutes later, the three men were back in STAR Labs. Caitlin and Ronnie holding each other tightly as Martin and Clarissa did the same.

A happy ending all around, wasn't it? So why did Hartley have the feeling that the was just the beginning of new trouble?

* * *

Notes: That foreboding feeling, Hartley, is because this is only chapter one.

Things to come include Joe's investigation into that mirror at Barry's childhood home, Eiling making a pest of himself, Barry getting to do a Sonic the hedgehog impersonation, and Tina McGee and Lily Stein both get to show up. Also more Clarissa, because its ridiculous how little screen time she got both on The Flash and Legends of Tomorrow.


End file.
